Eric Barker on Resilience

Here’s how to be more resilient:

• Stress is bad when we see it as bad: We can respond to stress with a threat, a challenge or a “tend-and-befriend” mindset. And with a little work, you can alter which one you have.
• Don’t calm down: Do not try to relax. Embrace the excitement. It’s not a crisis – it’s a strong cup of coffee.
  Remind yourself stress is a helper: Whatever you’re dealing with it’s not as bad as the wall-to-wall nightmare of “The Social Stress Test.” Remind yourself those physiological changes are actually a nitrous system for your brain. Change “I’m so stressed!” to “Ahh, I’m so stressed.”
• Think about your resources: Remember your strengths, the help you can get from friends, and your prior successes. And don’t forget the biggest resource of all: those stress hormones. If you welcome them, they’ll come to your aid.
• Focus on “bigger-than-self” goals: Never get between a momma bear and her cubs. When we remind ourselves of how what we’re doing can help others, “awful” stress becomes a courage and motivation booster.